The Pangs of Uncertainty

                                         



                      

                         1 )          The seas of uncertainty seem like the darkest night
                                        Unaware of what is to be--beyond my guess--
                                        What pitfalls or up rise--a confused mess---
                                        With my frail reason I rave -- nothing within my sight--
                                         I question Fate as if my fundamental right
                                        As if creation rests on me--no more or less--
                                        I shout at God to clarify and press
                                        To show my goal--an explanation staraight--
                                        A vast expanse of stubborn silence reigns
                                        So many centuries flew off--beyond compare--
                                        My fate--a most insignificant case
                                        My pains--nothing ere this unending timeless terrain
                                        So many born,grew up and died under Thy care
                                        Thou, all-encompassing Lord of Time and Space!

                           2)          How many sins done? I know not--I doubt
                                        Repentance--just a flash in the pan!
                                        Though I did pray and try to ban
                                        Vile temptations with musings devout;
                                        From my bosom true faith did not sprout
                                        A goalless journey meseems this life--no plan:
                                        So many scriptures came but none can scan
                                        Thee in true terms, or what's this world about;                                  
                                        Your mystic smile behind the invisible veil
                                        Your motives--too abstruse--a challenging task;
                                        Your silence spells feelings beyond our words
                                        Your subtle controlling skills, Time conceals;
                                        Nature appears your miraculous mask;
                                        Change unwinds within imperceptible worlds.

                           3)         I banged and shouted--with words I fought
                                       You maintained stony silence odd
                                       I called Thee indifferent and insensitive God--
                                       A soulless power without any conscience or heart;
                                       I cursed my lot with melancholy fraught;
                                       Thy saintly attributes an utter fraud--
                                       This world unchanging like a boulder hard
                                       A dreary routine dissolving in naught!
                                       I never asked Thee for favors again ;
                                       I took everything in stride--nothing to complain;
                                       Meanwhile you showered happy events unsought
                                       You slaked my gloomy soul with heavenly rain
                                       A state beyond this earthly suffering and strain
                                       Puzzled-- I stood-- Your ways so strange beyond my thought!

                           4)        People pray to Thee pouring immense praise
                                      A thousand names describing Thy glory
                                      Can their golden paeans satisfy Thee?
                                      Chanting Thy holy names in various ways?
                                      Can vain human tongues match the divine lays
                                      Of Ambrosial grace of heavenly glee?
                                      Dost Thou require our feeble flickering praise
                                      That can't fathom Thy mysterious maze?
                                      Our words can't grasp Thy mighty supreme state
                                      Beyond these earthly limits, Space and Time
                                      None can move Thee with empty vociferous power
                                      Let me strive to feel Thy ever watching power great
                                      To comprehend Thy intentions sublime
                                      And be Thy humble child for ever.

                                                        =========
                                                                                                        SOMA GUTALA
                             (Written on 22-12-2009, 23-12-2009,24-12-2009 and 11-01-2010)

           Note: In the above four poems an attempt has been made to present the spiritual crisis in a
           metaphysical vein. The poets of the later 16th and 17th centuries in England brought about
           innovative changes in style and approach by use of colloquial and dramatic style, dialecti-
           cal style, argument, unusual and striking comparisons, satire and abrupt shift in rhythm
           and   meter with passionate intensity. Especially in poems of John Donne( 1572--1631)
           and  George Herbert (1593-1633) and others these features are clearly noticeable. I hope
           you will find some of these features in these poems where the inner tension and struggle
           find ultimate resolution in gradual reconciliation and acceptance of one's own destiny and .
           providence.